July 4, 2009
I find myself thinking of you when i'm by myself in a crowded room...or when i'm alone.
I find myself reeling when i wake up out of breath...thinking that you were near.
I find myself lying when i say that it was just lust not love.
I find myself asking why'd you do it...when i see the hurt in her eyes too.
I find myself wondering where you are, what you are doing, and who you are seeing.
I find myself crying...knowing that you were and are not right for me.
I find myself breaking when i hear that word, love.
It's so over-used and misunderstood.
I hear my friends, family, and people i barely know use it on a daily basis...
do they know what it means?
Do they know that it's a promise?
A promise to feel for another being as unconditionally as they can.
As compationately as they know how,
And unforgetably as possible.
Unfortunately...many people have broken this promise...including myself.
I truly am sorry for the things i said, things i did.
But, that does not mean that i deserved the treatment i got.
Who the fuck gives you the right to say the things you did?
How is it possible that you could love another within a matter of weeks?
I think you're un-educated in that area.
So let me give you one freakin CLUE, IT IS NOT SEX.
Give the poor girl a break...and let her go before it's too late.
Like you should have done with me.
Like the treatment i should have gotten.
The truth. But i'm not good enough for that apparently.
It is NOT okay to share with other people about our old intimatecies.
I do not give a fuck if i spelt that wrong.
What people don't seem to get is that i'm still hurting.
They think that i can just pick up and move on, come on girl get up and get over it.
NO.
I'M SO FUCKING DONE WITH ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Posted by Samantha Shaw. Posted In : Truths
July 4, 2009
We talked.
We understood.
Now what do we do?
Where does this leave us?
Friends? More?
I wish...I'm waiting for that call.
that call that has you on the other end waiting for me to pick it up.
You're leaving, which makes me sad.
But i guess it's just a part of life...
you have to grow up sometime....
So why do i feel so empty?
I understand everything, we both understood.
I start to shake when I think of when you have to leave, have to grow up.
Thinking of you constantly doesn't help either.
I can't help i... Continue reading...
Posted by Samantha Shaw. Posted In : Truths
July 4, 2009
Its morning...the time when the secrets of night are revealed.
I need to think to write but, the only thing on my mind is you.
Don't flatter yourself they are not good thoughts.
I'm laughing because I'm in hysterics.
I finally get to say all of the things that I never got to say.
Finally I can get you out of my head and onto the floor.
We
both left scars on each other but luckily I don't try to re-open them
every chance i get...I don't ever want to talk to you again. Don't call
me. Don't message me... Continue reading...
Posted by Samantha Shaw. Posted In : Truths
I'm a 16 year old girl with a very opinionated attitude. I will NOT listen to you if you tell me what to do. (with a few exceptions) I go to High School, which one I will not say. I have 4 brothers and a sister on the way. ALL YOUNGER. I'm completely and utterly insane. Which you will soon find out once you read my very opinionated blog.
