March 22, 2009-Post-traumatic-dramatic-stressPosted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009
Under: Truths
When
i sit down to think about all that has happened in the past month, i
don't know what to do...whether i want to cry or if i want to laugh...i
guess the only way i'll find out is if i write it all down...It all
started with Friday February 13, 2009. I had gone through my school day
and i was at home was awaiting for my boyfriend's arrival. When he
finally got to my house i was mad at him...he was supposed to meet me
at school and walk me home. He never showed. Fast forward into the
night...lets just say i did some inappropriate things that i wasn't
supposed to be doing and no one knew he was at my house. The following
morning i got up to shower...now when i left the room i made him go
into my closet so that even if my step mom or brother walked in they
wouldn't know he was there. When i got out of the shower my step mom
was banging on the door, she told me i had a visitor, asked me what he
was doing here, and of course i lied about who he was and what he was
doing because i wanted him to be a secret. This boy was and is the most
bad boy i could've ever gone for and in my parents eyes...if they ever
knew what he was really like they would've made me break up with him.
So basically after he left i was stuck with my step mom and the yelling
and screaming commenced. That wasn't even the worst of it. I still had
to go to school. Now at this point i didn't have my cell phone because
of my horrific grades so i had no way of getting a hold of him and
letting him know what was going on and what was happening...I finally
call him at lunch telling him it's probably best and easiest if we
break up for a while because i wouldn't get to see him for a long time
and i didn't know what was going to happen to me when i got home. When
i got home that afternoon no one was home. I waited for my dad to get
home...i thought that he was going to scream at me...instead he took
off my door of my room and told me that he was disapointed in me.
Forbade me to ever see my now ex boyfriend again and that he wanted his
mom's phone number to call her and tell her what had been going on. Now
a few days had passed and i was GUFN already so i didn't really care
what happened so i skipped a few classes. One second period and two
third periods. My parents got a phone call a few days later that told
them i had been skipping. Thats when my dad had finally flipped his
lid. He started screaming at me telling me that if i screwed up again
that i would go to military school and that i wouldn't go to my mom's
because that would be a get a way when in all reality that's what i
wanted all along. So the next day or the day after i really needed to
get away...but how? A few friends had some weed and i agreed to come
along and smoke it with them during lunch...after all we wouldn't get
caught and i wasn't skipping any classes so...why not? Turns out the
cops knew where kids had been going to get high and just my luck we
were the ones to get caught. I got away with a warning but a few of my
other friends weren't so lucky. One of my good friends got a ticket and
well the rest of us got suspended for 3 days....it was on a thursday
so...i went to my mom's for 5 days...when i came back to school i
hadn't heard from or seen my ex boyfriend in a week i missed him
terribly and i had talked to him that day and i knew he was going to be
on campus...well turns out he was seeing his ex girlfriend
already...not even a week had gone by and he was seeing someone else
already...i was so pissed that i couldn't even walk straight. After i
had screamed and yelled at him and told him that i was done and never
wanted to see him again...which is not how i felt...i went to class
which was hell. A few weeks have gone by and just recently i was
accused of fooling around with someone's boyfriend when i wasn't...my
ex boyfriend had the nerve to email me and call me a bunch of nasty
names and say that i was unforgivable. How dare he? After everything
he's done, and gone through? Even if i did do something like that who
is he to tell me i'm wrong when i stood by him when he fucked up big
time and i forgave him? Well let me tell you i deserve so much more. i
deserve someone who will treat me right and someone who doesn't get
into trouble all the time. I'm worth more than i gave myself credit
for. I'm done with bad boys and all they're trouble. Now 5 weeks later
i'm still recovering from everything and i left out quite a lot but now
you know the gist of it...and everything i've gone through in the past
month. Slowly but surely...I'm moving on.
In : Truths |
March 22, 2009-Post-traumatic-dramatic-stressPosted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009
Under: Truths
In : Truths |