Browsing Archive: July, 2009

I'm finally ready.

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Monday, July 6, 2009, In : Truths 
At this point I am disgusted with myself.
I want you but I'm playing games with you.
I don't want to fool around anymore.
I want a relationship.
I'm done messing around with guys and making myself look like a whore.
It's not cool anymore.
I'm done playing the games that I unfortunately play.
I want to have you and call you my own.
I want to commit.
I want to commit to you..
I'm glad that you will never see this because I would be mortified if you ever read it.

Continue reading ...

These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume.

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Sunday, July 5, 2009, In : Truths 
I feel like I hardly know you...and yet...
I've known you for years...
I'm drawn to you like your heat and I've been cold for minutes, hours, days...
It's like clock work...every time someone walks out of my life someone new walks right on in...
the funny thing've always been the corner of my mind.

Continue reading ...


Posted by Samantha Shaw on Sunday, July 5, 2009, In : Drool worthy 
Ford Mustang Shelby GT 500

Continue reading ...

Glass heart♥...March 28, 2008

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Sunday, July 5, 2009, In : Truths 
with each passing day.
thinking of you less and less
but the pain grows
it digs a bigger hole in my heart.
the love we once shared
turns into hatred.
All the times you looked into my eyes
and said "i love you".
will be forgotten, lost
love is lost.
only a fragment remains
of my shattered glass heart..

Continue reading ...

Her glass heart continued...August 1st 2008

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Sunday, July 5, 2009, In : Truths 
As she bent down to pick up what was left of her shattered glass heart...He walked in...tall, dark, and handsome...He ran to her side and slapped her in the face and said, "WAKE UP!", "Your dreaming, Who'd you think i'd be prince charming?"
Continue reading ...

Abnormalness is NOT a crime...July 27th, 2008

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Sunday, July 5, 2009, In : Truths 
The way you look at me makes me wanna puke.  You have no idea, just look at me like i'm a normal person. Don't give me a sorry ass answer. You know exactly why. Why you can't learn, why you can't feel, why you can't handle, me. It's not because of my past, present,or future. Trust must be a big issue with you, because you can't seem to learn to trust me. They're just friends dad...just ask me.  I'll tell you the truth. You don't even trust me enough to ask me. Not like they'd be interested an...
Continue reading ...

Just Shut It...August 1st, 2008

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
Your not the first to say this to me..."I'm not looking" or "Your a nice girl but.." who are you trying to kid? Oh! that's right, me. Don't you hate it when people lie? I do. Nasty habbit. Anyways, when you find it in your heart to give me one freaking chance....look me up. No actually, when and if you were to ever find room for me in your "crowded" space, forget about it. Because I'm just going to tell you what you told me once upon a time...take a hike. You should've taken your chance when ...
Continue reading ...

Father of mine...August 2nd 2008

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
How can i describe how i'm feeling at this exact moment hmmm....i can't...this indescribable weight pressing down on my shoulders...suffocating me....what is it about this small green box that makes me want to vomit? It's not where i want to be. What is it about this house that makes me feel like i'm being watched? It's you. There's no problem i must just be crazy that's a reasonable explanation right? No! your wrong i scream. Your the one that's suffocating me! Your the one that makes me fee...
Continue reading ...

My distraught devious delusion...August 13th 2008

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
The need you have for her...The way you yearn for her...The essence in the room when she is near...All of it. Only makes it harder for me...Everytime i look at you the disapointment fills my void,  for when you meet my gaze it is not me your looking's her. Past my eyes past my feelings...and directly into her arms once again. The love you have for her is undeniable. So i will no longer stand in your way. No more walks down memory lane. No more embraces. No more you and I. It all torme...
Continue reading ...

Himm...November 23rd 2008

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
To the man that will be un-named...
you haunt me in my dreams.
the hurt that i feel you will never know, nor is it one that anyone else has ever known.
they say they understand that they care...they don't give a rats ass about me.
they don't even know.
the pain i caused you and was inevitable.
i just feel that i can't trust you again...
it's like i'm setting myself up for disaster yet another time.
one more night undecided.

Continue reading ...

February 7th 2009 Nothing can change it.

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
I hate feeling this way...feeling like nothing is moving. Emptiness, like a hole is taking place of where my heart and mind should be. Crying is absolutely pointless when no one is around to stop the tears. Fighting is impossible when there is no one to fight with. So i guess being silent is my only option...not that anyone would listen anyways. Well i guess i can't say person would but...he's not around either to listen to me whine. I want to go outside and lay down in the long ...
Continue reading ...

March 22, 2009-Post-traumatic-dramatic-stress

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
When i sit down to think about all that has happened in the past month, i don't know what to do...whether i want to cry or if i want to laugh...i guess the only way i'll find out is if i write it all down...It all started with Friday February 13, 2009. I had gone through my school day and i was at home was awaiting for my boyfriend's arrival. When he finally got to my house i was mad at him...he was supposed to meet me at school and walk me home. He never showed. Fast forward into the night.....
Continue reading ...

I re-traced every step you made.

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
I find myself thinking of you when i'm by myself in a crowded room...or when i'm alone.
I find myself reeling when i wake up out of breath...thinking that you were near.
I find myself lying when i say that it was just lust not love.
I find myself asking why'd you do it...when i see the hurt in her eyes too.
I find myself wondering where you are, what you are doing, and who you are seeing.
I find myself crying...knowing that you were and are not right for me.
I find myself breaking when i hear tha...

Continue reading ...

Pictures of of me...remind us all of what we used to be.

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
We talked.
We understood.
Now what do we do?
Where does this leave us?
Friends? More?
I wish...I'm waiting for that call.
that call that has you on the other end waiting for me to pick it up.
You're leaving, which makes me sad.
But i guess it's just a part of life...
you have to grow up sometime....
So why do i feel so empty?
I understand everything, we both understood.
I start to shake when I think of when you have to leave, have to grow up.
Thinking of you constantly doesn't help either.
I can't help i...

Continue reading ...

Waiting for the call.

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
Its morning...the time when the secrets of night are revealed.
I need to think to write but, the only thing on my mind is you.
Don't flatter yourself they are not good thoughts.
I'm laughing because I'm in hysterics.
I finally get to say all of the things that I never got to say.
Finally I can get you out of my head and onto the floor.
We both left scars on each other but luckily I don't try to re-open them every chance i get...I don't ever want to talk to you again. Don't call me. Don't message me...

Continue reading ...

Tears don't fall.

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
Every time that I gets harder and harder to get up.
Each time that I try to get up something inside me says just stay down.
I don't want to pretend like it doesn't get harder to get's so hard that I'm screaming.
I don't want to get up on my own anymore. I need help. I need to not be alone.
I need a friend that won't leave me when the first signs of struggle start to appear.
Someone that won't walk out on me when the screaming starts..

Continue reading ...

What do I look like? The wizard of Oz? You need a brain? You need a heart? Go ahead. Take mine.Take everything I have.

Posted by Samantha Shaw on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : Truths 
What can I do?
What do you want me to say?
That it's okay?
Are you asking me to tell you that I forgive you?
After all that you've done you expect me to tell you that it's all good?
I have no need to do so.
I don't want to hear you whisper my name when your lonely.
I don't want to feel your hand brush across my face when you say you want me back.
I don't want to FEEL anything that comes from you.
I want to have morphine injected into the section of my brain where you are tucked away.
I want nothing to ...
Continue reading ...

HVHS student and older brother killed in crash

Posted by Grants Pass DAILY COURIER Friday July 3, 2009 on Saturday, July 4, 2009, In : News 
A Hidden Valley High School student and her older brother were killed in a car accident Thursday morning in northern California. Grants Pass resident Chelsea Silva, 17, and Joshua Silva, 25, of Willits, Calif., were in a crash on Highway 101, north of Garberville, Calif., according to a police report from the California Highway patrol. Police were called to the scene after witnesses reported Silva's 2001 Dodge 3500 pickup truck had gone ov...
Continue reading ...

About Me

Samantha Shaw I'm a 16 year old girl with a very opinionated attitude. I will NOT listen to you if you tell me what to do. (with a few exceptions) I go to High School, which one I will not say. I have 4 brothers and a sister on the way. ALL YOUNGER. I'm completely and utterly insane. Which you will soon find out once you read my very opinionated blog.

Blog Archive

Make a Free Website with Yola.